Do you want to know why people call us "nellies"? It's because some of us choose to act like whiny bitches. Especially if you're a middle aged douchebag homo named Eric McKinley.
I don't know why Mr. McKinley looks like, nor should it matter...yet whenever I read about the EHarmony lawsuit, reading about this Eric McKinley, I can't help but imagine in my mind's eye some beady-eyed, frumpy, overweight balding homo who never got picked at the Bathhouse and had to waddle home alone with nothing but his crystal meth-induced illusions of self-worth and validation, causing him to begrudge heterosexual society, free of its image-conscious male oriented pressures. Never exceeding at the superficial, but never really having accomplished much in the way of anything else, and reduced to finding love on the Internet, Mr. McKinley (in my fantasy) sadly scours, and fails at finding love, at gay.com, then manhunt.net, then finally adam4adam.com, until he hears an EHarmony commercial softly playing from the television in the background as he sits in his computer chair in his white briefs with nothing but the computer screen illuminating the darkened room. On a whim, he tries it, but to his dismay realizes there are no gays on it. Knowing the ones on the other sites are out of his league, and this insult being the straw that broke the camel's back, McKinley acts out of rage, which is so typical of the gay community as of late (thanks Prop 8). From the West Coast to the East Coast, their self proclaimed liberal values have given way to bouts of infantile rage.
Anyways: Neil Warren founded EHarmony based on his experience as a doctorate-level educated professional with a career-spanning dedicated to studying heterosexual interaction. He founded EHarmony to foster the values and ideals of Christian marriage. Admittedly, he has said in the past, the main reason he doesn't have a section for homosexual compatibility is that he doesn't know enough about gay relationships. Is that a crime? I wouldn't be surprised if most gay people didn't know what a football was, but the NFL isn't penalizing them. This is a case of a frivolous, rage-mandated lawsuit at its best, or should I say, worst. Even if Warren had a burning hatred of homosexuals and wanted to found a solely, exclusive group for heterosexuals, we are in America - that should be his right and his prerogative. Now EHarmony has been forced to start a gay-inclusive matchmaking service. I doubt this will increase the odds of Mr. McKinley finding a partner.
I do want to discuss some of the disgusting ramifications of this lawsuit. This is imposing on freedom, fundamentally. There is such a terrifying move to socializing everything in America. What's next? An abortion clinic being sued for not performing vasectomies? Suing Chick Fil A for not serving veal? Suing the NBA for not allowing golfers to participate? The great thing about America is we have the freedom to express ourselves by the differences that bring us together. Yes: some people choose to embrace the things that set them apart, make them unique, and seek others like them. This is as annoying as women who demand inclusion to men's clubs. God forbid a White person demand to join the NAACP. Once we stamp out organizations that promote our individuality, we will all become the same, despite the fact we are not. Hegemony for all. Thanks McKinley. If it's so hard for you to meet somebody, maybe it's you, not EHarmony.
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